2003-07-19

I THINK IT'S TIME YOU WROTE SOMETHING OTHER THAN NOTES
I am through with dairyland. I don't feel as though it is a healthy thing to continue on with, so I'm making a change. For me. Because we all have to come to the realization that this isn't forever. We pass our days by without even thinking. Without leaving the house. Without talking to people. And that is totally unhealthy. I write for me. About me. I don't know who I am. But I'm trying to learn. And I do not need to hear what others think about me. I don't care if you think I am funny or interesting or worth your while to read anymore. Because my life is for me. And for my family and friends. This has become white noise, distracting me from what I want to do. Who I want to meet and know. I am lazy. So many of us are. And I know it's hard to change habits, especially one's that are comforting. But I think that it's worth it to change. My life is worth my every effort. I am surrounded by beautiful people that I can touch and hug and hear their voices when they laugh or cry or are completely pissed off. This computer is not real. My life is. I am. My family and my friends are. I'm not going to meet anyone meaningful and helpful sitting down here in this horrible smelling basement, sitting with even worse posture in this old rocking chair. Life isn't about expressing yourself to people you don't know. It's about living in the now and talking to the people that are looking you in the face everyday. Reading your face, hearing you breathe, seeing your eyes. And that is precisely what I have forgotten. And that is precisely what I intend to get back.

So, I'm moving on. I'm moving on. I'm moving on.

i have the kind of beauty that moves.

And so do you.

So get up.

And start.

Posted at 11:06 p.m. [last / next]