2003-03-21

when i look at you i squint / you are that beautiful
eek. skipping ballet again...my toe is wrecked and if i watch the class then i can't dance in modern. so if i just don't go to ballet i can slip into modern and dance. because i can compensate in modern for my foot and do alright. and that's impossible in ballet. haha. yah.

listening to the new ani stuff. it's really beautiful.

i decided a few minutes ago to write one of my old friends an email. like ss. we haven't spoken since we went for coffee. which is annoying. because he isn't trying at all.so i start thinking he doesn't care as much as he says he does. because then when we do talk he seems so happy to see me. and acts like he really wants to be there hanging out with me. but then to never make the first step and call me or write me first. i wonder if patella has anything to do with this? i doubt it, but i do wonder. because it sucks. a lot. that he hasn't been around. he's too good of friend to lose.

then there's kd. who never wants to do anything anymore. everytime i end up hanging out with her is when she already has plans and then invites me along as kind of an after thought. so i invited her to the concert tonight. and she said no because she'll be tired. fine, i understand that, but seriously, we haven't hung out for a really long time. actually having the plans before the day of and talking about what we should do. y'know? i fell like i've turned into an afterthought to her. and i don't want to be that. i'd rather not even be anything to her. i'd rather stop trying to hang out so much with her and see what happens. she doesn't bother to try and make real plans with me so i won't make real plans with her either.

alright. i wrote ss a short letter. let me know you're still alive dude kinda letter.

weakerthans tonight! ee can't come anymore though which is too bad. so now i'm going with all the roommates. all the boys. haha. funny.

we watched better than chocolate last night. sooooo fucking good. my my. best movie i've seen in awhile really. happy and happier.

ballet starts in twenty minutes. i couldn't make it even if i tried...

Posted at 9:52 a.m. [last / next]